I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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