nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
