When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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