My first STD was from a foam party
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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