bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
