Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
