I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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