sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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