Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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