Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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