Yo dont text me then not text me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
