idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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