But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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