i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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