My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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