i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
