alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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