No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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