We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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