College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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