i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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