i just had sex bonerless
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My balls are so social today.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
