Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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