her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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