super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
