So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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