If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
