I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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