He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
