I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
