Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize