how do flat chested girls get laid?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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