so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
