At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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