I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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