We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I touched a dick in church today
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
