Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
