I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
