Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college

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(702): View more from Nevada

did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

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(425): View more from Washington

Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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(850): View more from Florida

I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok

(850): View more from Florida

They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good

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(714): View more from California

He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Then you guys just all showered together...?

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