He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
tell me about the eggs
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