There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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