the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
