The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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