dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
