Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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