shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
