I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Panties = found
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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