chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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