I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
