Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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