I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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