i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
