i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
