I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sorry my hands just texted you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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