i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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