I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
