I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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