I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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