Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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